sarah

Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool

Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool - Hal Edward Runkel This book is written in high Self-Help style, and I had to work to get past the terrible writing and into the messages the author is trying to convey. Fortunately, it is written in language simple enough for a child to follow, so a little extra work on the way wasn't much to ask. Here's an example of how bad the style is:The greatest thing you can do for your kids is learn to focus on yourself.That statement might not make complete sense right now. It might, in fact, seem downright offensive. What? Turn the focus away from my children and onto myself? Isn't that against all the rules?No, it isn't. I'm not promising that you put your children last on the list. Far from it. What I am saying is that by focusing on yourself, you will have a halthier, happier relationship with your whole family.[p.9:]Yeah, Runkel is going to blow your mind, but if you follow real slow (he actually says "Let me say that again" and repeats text [p.14:], in case we readers are too stupid to go back and reread paragraphs we didn't fully understand) you might learn something. Hear that? That's me rolling my eyes. Don't worry, Runkel, I think I can keep up.That being said, the book did a good job of describing why we lose our tempers, which is what I picked it up for. I was hoping for some strategies for how to stay calm when one's buttons are being pushed, and I was disappointed in that. Instead, Runkel seems to be encouraging parents to change their big pictures so that they understand why their buttons are being pushed, why the button-pushing is so effectively enraging them, and why they must not engage with it. Presumably, being able to resist the rage comes later, after you have changed your whole understanding of parenting. Since his new "revolutionary" understanding of parenting pretty closely matches what I already thought, I don't have much to hope for.But, maybe by continuing to think about these dynamics, eventually I can drain intrafamily conflicts (well, all conflicts, I guess) of most of their emotion and stop losing my temper. To be honest, this was all stuff I was working on in meditation anyway, so I'm not sure that this book will help me get there any faster, but it was a nice refresher course with examples from other people's lives.In the meantime, I guess it's back to screaming "Serenity now!" and running out of the room when the whining starts to overpower me.